making amends steps 9 and 10 most comfortable role has been victim
Making amends is the best way to reconnect with the people who have been deeply hurt as a result of your actions. Addiction has the ability to irrevocably sever the most intimate bonds of family and friendship. A sober living community can allow you to return to a semi-normal life, but at the same time, the environment it provides gives you the accountability you need to remain sober.
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Leach is said to have heroin addiction gathered information for the book by asking for input from many AA members who had long-term sobriety. The purpose of step 10 is to acknowledge that your old habits don’t control you and practice self-examination to help continue this trend. With restoration, you aim to bring something back to what it formerly was. If your alcoholism caused you to damage something, your goal is to restore it as much as possible. The 9th step in AA is about making amends, regardless of the outcome. Discover the history of Xanax, its impact on mental health, and resources for addiction help in Kansas.
Changes in personal behaviors
We are seeking accountability for our own actions and holding ourselves to the standards of our own values and our 12 Step program. Apologizing in this way may open the door to continued healing, growth, and restored relationships in recovery. Addiction takes over your life, stealing both your joy and your time, and making it impossible for you to give back to others and live a generous life.
The Importance of Amends Where We Caused Harm
We list any treatment center that meets our rehab criteria, giving you the best list of options possible when looking for treatment. In cases involving abuse, whether emotional, physical, or sexual, reaching out to apologize can be harmful and counterproductive. I know I said it once, but I’ll say it again – if you are dealing with guilt and you haven’t read the articles above, now is the time.
- Some people may respond positively, while others may be resistant or emotionally charged.
- Attempts to make amends can create more harm if you enter a situation focused only on yourself and what you want to get out of it.
- When you cannot directly make up for something to the person you hurt, a living amends is a decision to change your ongoing behavior in a way that is informed by the wrongdoing.
- It requires more than just a simple apology; it involves taking concrete actions to rectify past wrongs and demonstrating a commitment to change.
- While challenging, the benefits of making amends—healing past wounds, fostering healthier relationships, and reinforcing one’s recovery journey—are invaluable.
- This occurs when you decide to do something like write a letter that you decide not to send because of the harm it may cause the individual to whom it is addressed.
You may not have written a list, but if you have been relating to people, you have a list. These relationships are blocking your heart and your ability to love and to let love in. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power. The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. The reason I give this disclaimer is making amends is a personal thing.
- Acknowledging the damage caused, though challenging, is a critical step for our recovery.
- The unfortunate truth is that we’re all human and we all fall short sometimes.
- You will intimately discuss the reasons why you did what you did and you will fix, re-pay, or repair any physical damage that you have caused, to the best of your ability.
- Every month, 150,000 people search for addiction or mental health treatment on Recovery.com.
To prepare for this step it’s a good idea to let go of all our expectations about how our amends will or should turn out. When it comes to making amends to others, there are usually a lot of fears and expectations involved. We may be afraid about making financial amends, or afraid of rejection, retaliation and a host of other doubtful outcomes.
Focusing on actions rather than relying solely on apologies enhances personal and relational growth. Engaging in self-reflection and understanding past mistakes fortifies this process. Ultimately, the goal of making amends lies in genuine attempts at healing, where your actions can deeply resonate, fostering reconciliation and mutual respect.
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Thus, it only makes sense that step nine is a response to step eight, which involves making a list of all the people that you have harmed and become willing to make amends to all of them. Step eight is preparation for the action of step nine, which involves putting your recovery into action. According to Alcoholics Anonymous, living amends occur when you decide to “live out” the changes you have agreed to in your recovery journey. These are long-term actions or steps you take to show you are completely committed what is a living amends to recovery. Engaging in the process of making amends serves several vital purposes in an individual’s recovery journey.
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